Hungarian culture - Cheek kissing.

Cheek kissing in greeting isn't something that only the Hungarians practice. This gesture is much common in Europe, Latin America, in the Meditteranean and the Middle East than it is in Canada, America and even Asia.


Cheek kissing in Hungary is between male-female and female-female. The Arabs kiss cheeks between male-male and female-female, here you do not see male-male kiss cheeks.


Jeniffer Doyle wrote in her article,"A Treatise on the Hungarian Cheek Kiss",

the Hungarian cheek kiss is a common form of greeting among Hungarians. It consists of bobbing your head first to the left and then to the right of another person’s head. As you bob to each side you are supposed to “kiss” their left and then right cheeks. Meanwhile, the person opposite you is going through the very same ritual on you (I.e. kissing your cheeks).

Actual touching of lip to cheek appears to be optional - as do number of actual kisses - though two (one for each cheek) seems to be the most common. Theoretically, I suppose that one could go on this way indefinitely until one’s lips gave out.

This form of greeting is not just reserved, as an expatriate might reasonably suppose, for one’s close friends and family. In Hungary, this homage to ones cheeks is given to all and sundry… a person you are introduced to at a party (kiss, kiss), man who walks my dog (kiss, kiss), random history teacher who I vaguely think has something to do with my children (kiss, kiss). This is disconcerting to an American expatriate on many levels, but what alarms us most is the invasion of our space bubble…

When the Americans would have trouble accepting the culture due to the "invasion of their space bubbles", for me not only it is an invasion of my space bubble but also coming from a background where male and female do not touch each other freely, I find it very difficult to accept the cheek kissing culture. I was not really prepared to see my husband kiss cheeks with other women either. I was told that usually the women will offer to kiss first not the men. So if the women offers to kiss cheeks with my husband it would be rude not to kiss. It would embarrass them.

Like it or not, I just had to embrace the culture. Good thing about being a woman, I don't have to kiss cheeks with a man if I don't want to and they won't offer to kiss. But I would not mind kissing cheeks with the ladies and the older men whom I know. I am slightly used to it, but even after 2 years I am still not entirely comfortable with it. I would brace myself every time I had to do it.


In Malaysia, cheek kissing between a Muslim woman and another Muslim woman is becoming popular. Most probably due to the Arab influence. I do not remember Malaysians practicing cheek kissing before. Why doesn't a Malaysian Muslim man kisses the cheeks of another Muslim man, I don't know. Well, since they want to follow the Arabs right? Why not? Perhaps they are afraid to be labeled as a homosexual. Some people there are so conservative that even when I kiss my father's cheeks they would look like as if their eyes were going to pop out, yet alone if I kiss other mens' cheeks. I might be labeled a loose woman.

It is not easy to come from another culture that seems to be worlds apart from the culture that you are in now. But for the sake of harmony one just have to learn to adapt to which ever culture one is in at the moment. With that said, I wonder when will some tourists stop putting on skimpy bikinis and wear something a bit more moderate when they are on Malaysian beaches for the sake of harmony? :P